And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
