and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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