She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
