I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
