I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She announced her abortion via fbk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
