so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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