So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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