My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
