i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
