we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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