I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He has the fingertips of a God
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