If i come over, it means nothing
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
