no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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