Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
