i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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