Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
