Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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