If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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