i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
