We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
