just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize