he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
then he tried to convert me to islam
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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