piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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