they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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