3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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