Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize