I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
