I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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