hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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