and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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