This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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