Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

  (408): View more from California

  we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

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  (202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why? (408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try. http://tfl.nu/v7dh
  Replies (21) Good night (692) Bad night (1581)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles

  (205): View more from Alabama

  for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today

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  (281): Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles (205): for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today http://tfl.nu/m9xp
  Replies (9) Good night (559) Bad night (3118)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  operation have a gay friend backfired

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  (410): operation have a gay friend backfired http://tfl.nu/5i5r
  Replies (35) Good night (890) Bad night (5725)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ..im mad u rememberd about that

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  (732): i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt (1-732): ..im mad u rememberd about that http://tfl.nu/q0le
  Replies (14) Good night (1009) Bad night (3436)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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  (765): let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/novi
  Replies (17) Good night (7144) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside

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  (586): so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside http://tfl.nu/qiju
  Replies (4) Good night (3213) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.

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  (310): I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning. http://tfl.nu/9168
  Replies (5) Good night (2268) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
  Replies (10) Good night (3434) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.

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  (970): The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless. http://tfl.nu/oac7
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How can a condom be "half used"?

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  (218): Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face (763): How can a condom be "half used"? http://tfl.nu/3d85
  Replies (13) Good night (1369) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  knight in shining armor

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  (574): he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog (1-574): knight in shining armor http://tfl.nu/bdyw
  Replies (1) Good night (985) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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  (860): It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me http://tfl.nu/na7x
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.

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  (954): Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me. http://tfl.nu/26mx
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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  (208): Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering. http://tfl.nu/ya1u
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him

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  (931): ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes" (1-931): I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him http://tfl.nu/quo2
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (212)

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