But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
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just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon