they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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