yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
