having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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