It would be one hovered percent delicioui
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
