Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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