you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
