i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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