Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
