i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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