my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
