Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize