Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I faked an abortion last night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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