We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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