half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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