I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
