What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
