Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
