I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
