I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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