Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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