Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love accidental penises.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
