Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
