you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We need to get me chipped asap
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize