Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
