So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize