hotel room ftw
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
