i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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