question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We're too hungover to prance.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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